Story Time
After much exposition I finally arrived at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.
Where I met Albus Dumbledore, the great and powerful headmaster of Hogwarts.
Well if that isn’t him insisting I should free roam around Hogwarts I don’t know what is.
Yes, I am Harry Potter, the awesome wizard who has already lived this school year once.
So basically I’m fueling your addiction?
Oh Hey, Ron. Hopefully you’re not a liability in this version of the game.
Hedwig? That son of a bitch.
If Ron hadn’t told me your name I’d have had no clue who you are by the way.
I’ll kill you for that one day.
Wow you actually landed the jump? I’m liking this Ron so far.
Why are they kept at the school if they’re so dangerous? Also how did they get in here from the grounds?
Who is this spooky hooded figure stalking me?
My Hedwig! Also, you fell for that?
Ah Hedwig, you’re so majestic.
Wow thanks Hedwig. Yous shouldn’t have!
A flying lesson? I literally just got a broom.
Also I thought first years weren’t allowed brooms unless they played Quidditch? Foreshadowing?
Whoop Whoop. Its all about them house points.
I got this. I’m a natural.
More house points!
Ron, she’s standing right there. You could be a little nicer. She might run to the bathroom to cry if you’re not careful.
Not particularly but okay lets go to charms.
We needed this at muggle schools. That way I’d want to be there.
Got to collect Fred and George’s addiction on my way to class.
Phew, just in time.
Then I shall lift Malfoy off a cliff. That will teach him to take my owl.
This si so much better than a challenge chamber. Means we all get to learn.
And just like that my class mates suffer once more.
Wingardium leviosa
The fun way to learn.
A letter? For me?
He couldn’t have put it in the letter I’m guessing?
Oh yeah? Well I now know Wingardium Leviosa
A lesson? Please don’t be a challenge chamber.
Oh really? We’ll see about that.
Lets hope we beat Slytherin this year.
Ha, take that Malfoy!
I couldn’t forget you, Hagrid.
God damn it, Hagrid. You could have warned me about this!
Gonna make it with plenty of time to spare.
I’m in plenty of time, Professor.
Right, another spell to master.
Boom. I’m on fire! (Terrible pun I know)
Yeah but Ron and Hagrid are harmless.
Can’t you do it? I mean its really convenient that I learn incendio and then suddenly you need my help.
God damn it. The hooded figure is back. You’d think that if he were this close he’d just try and kill me with a spell instead of making these slight obstacles.
And like that yet another robed man plan is foiled.
Good job I pay attention in Herbology.
Okay, Hagrid. You’re doing Breaking Bad aren’t you?
Oh, no. Hagrid please these things are illegal. What’s next a three headed dog and a man sized spider?
Aww okay this is a cute illegal dragon.
To this day, Nerbert will always remind me of this.
After this confusion of which Norbert is which, I headed off to the grounds where Neville told me that Malfoy had stolen his remembrall.
Hopping onto my broom I decided to chase down Malfoy. I will show him who is lucky this time.
Ha, I broke his broom stick. Ruined his day and broke his toy. Perfect.
No, that’s not how it works Neville.
NO! That’s not how it works! It just tells you that you forgot something.
Nice to meet you, Professor.
Well, I try.
Ohmygod no way. Ron is gonna be so pissed.
Wait what? But, you’ve literally just told me I’m playing. You didn’t even tell me how to play?
Wait how did you find out? I’ve literally just been told.
How is everybody talking about this? It just happened!
This joke is getting old no but, how did you know this? Screw this I have to win a match of a sport I don’t know how to play.
And with no training I win!
Yay, such a great turn out.
Hufflepuff who?
And you are?
This can’t be good.
How could I have stolen it? I’ve been playing a game of Quidditch.
Dick.
Foreshadowing.
How did you do that without the weird four button lesson?
We’re not really friends yet. We need to do the team bonding exercise of fighting a troll.
After a while we found the sloth brain and headed off to class.
Go Go Gryffindor!
You’re welcome. I’m glad I could be your enabler.
Must have fallen out of your head Professor.
My money!
Hello, Hermione. Have you been waiting here all this time? And where is Ron?
Ah there he is. Let the hell of potions begin.
I’ll show you.
This isn’t so bad.
I spoke too soon.
Hooded man! I will stop you one day.
Here’s your stupid Fireflies.
Yeah, I’m late because you made me go and find god damn fireflies.
Oh, that’s gonna get annoying.
Already annoying.
Powerful? It serves as a light spell.
I’m starting to get the hang of these lessons.
Oh no. Challenge Chambers.
Oh so powerful.
Yes? Shall we go there anyway?
Along my way towards the upper castle I found these weird curses. Soon I had dispatched all but one of them and who do I meet but freaking …
… Peeves!
After getting away from Peeves I was free to head to Transfiguration despite my desire to go to the upper floor.
Soon I entered Transfiguration class for the first time –
- Where we were told that this was the most dangerous thing at Hogwarts. I think Hagrid is the most dangerous thing here.
Can’t be many of these lessons left? They’re getting repetitive.
No! Everyone else can have a go this time.
Reluctantly I went to try out the knew spell, despite the knowledge that my favoritism was killing my class mates chances at good careers.
Harry Potter and the Chamber Potty of Secrets. Hey wait a minute! Give me my parcel.
Bring it on!
How nice of you.
Racing through the attic I was narrowly trailing and knew it was now or never.
Spiriting faster than ever and taking some very clever shortcuts, I eventually beat Peeves.
You’re an even worse loser than Malfoy!
My parcel. Hopefully its the last Horcrux I need. Nope its an invisibility cloak. Meh, it will do.
And yet I’m here.
But I shall soon see them anyway.
I’m sure you don’t. Not that I one eyed witch could get me to Hogsmeade.
It’s invisibility cloak time.
Testing out my new cloak I decided to ease drop on Professor Snape and Flich.
Should have worn this cloak before entering this place.
I have a feeling he thinks that its Ron.
That is such stupid foreshadowing/making me think its Snape.
Flich is in on it too?
Time to follow Professor Snape.
What the? Oh yay. Story time.
Wait what? Its not Halloween.
Right lets enter with caution.
Oh dear God!
You’re a real hero, Ron …
I’m hardly distracting the Troll if I’m leading him towards you.
Ah Its gonna kill me!
I’ve led the Troll to the girls bathroom. This can’t be good.
Why are you scared? We’ve only just led the Troll down here.
Oh hell no!
You do that, Ron. I’ll, I’ll be the diversion again shall I?
Bashed him right on the head. Well played Ron.
K.O.
No worries. We’re totally awesome so we have no problem saving you.
Quidditch! Lets do this. But once again, such short notice.
That doesn’t affect me. I just need to catch the snitch.
Yeah it is short notice! We never had training sessions either.
But we are finer.
Good one, Hermione. Hagrid isn’t the brightest.
Fluffy?
Yes, Ron. I just asked that.
We’re getting so much info out of Hagrid. Well played, Hermione.
Man, Hermione is good at interrogation.
And that is the end of our information.
And just like that the case is back on.
That’s it Hermione keep it up.
Damn it. We were so close.
I’m glad they politely wait till I was finished with this conversation.
Its Quidditch time!
And we win.
We’re gonna win the league. We’re gonna win the league.
Why do I have a bad feeling about this.
We?
I knew I wasn’t gonna like this.
This, once again, sounds like busy work.
I’ll come back next year then.
This is a bit to realistic for its time. Paper work in a bank, why I never.
Yay, a roller-coaster ride to get my money.
I decided that I would head to Ollivanders wand shop first to search for the peacock feather.
I will. Thank you.
Hmm I might steal somethings then. Add a few replica wands to my collection.
3 knuts to chase a peacock? I must be knuts to pay to do this.
After the wand shop I headed over to the Owl Emporium to find an owl feather.
Here have your money. Three sickles for a owl feather. Ridiculous!
Can’t you do it? I mean I just paid you three sickles for crying out loud.
Lots of owls. I’m in owl heaven.
Now lets feed this owl, though I’m use to hailing Hedwig via a owl post.
Wingardium Leviosa!
Got it.
Thank you too. See you next year.
Okay … will do.
That’s spooky. Why were you expecting me?
Just what I came here for.
And now I have the lot.
Perfect. Can’t have a sick illegal dragon.
Surely we could have bought Dragon Tonic?
Yay, we saved a dragon. Can’t imagine that I’ll ever have to fight one.
The circle of life my friend. Its his time. Speaking of time. Exposition time.
Horror movie cliche much? Split up in a dark, scary forest.
Following a blood trail sounds as scary as following a trail of spiders.
Then why are you making me go alone?
So he only made me go alone? This is not fair.
Oh I am gonna kill you in this forest, Malfoy.
And so you abandoned me here?
Again! You can’t leave an 11 year old boy in a forest and simply say, “Be careful.”
Along the way I found the last wizard card in my collection, bring one of my addictions to an end.
Oh my! A dead Unicorn.
Hooded man, we meet again.
I don’t feel so good ….
This won’t be the last time I black out over nerd quest.
So you made us go in to find it?
That’s the biggest understatement in nerd quest. A dangerous foe, he killed my parents and scared me.
A wooden flute. This makes up for everything.
Okay but I’ve never played music before.
Innnnteresting
Well I will created some magical music.
This has given me an idea. I’ll use this to help Ron sleep.
Hmm Fluffy! That’s a better idea.
Interesting. Tell me more?
Wow, I want it. Then that way I can have enough time to do everything I want to do it life.
Where are people creating rumors? We’ve only just found out about this because of Hagrid.
Wait, wait, wait. We don’t know for sure that Fluffy is guarding the Philosopher’s Stone.
Now? Like right now? But I haven’t had time to suspect Snape is trying to kill me by jinxing my broom. Oh alright.
Snape! He said it himself that he was interested in it.
I’ve not done anything brave yet.
Really? We’re about to risk our lives and you tell us the House points.
Wow that’s a lot of extra points.
Where as we have nothing.
Oh now I hope I die down there.
Right, enter with caution.
Oh … my … god … its a devil dog.
Yeah what Ron said.
And Hagrid gave me a flute. He secretly wanted me to get past Fluffy.
After a fantastic flute solo I soon had Fluffy out like a light.
The trap door is open. Lets get down there.
What is this stuff?
What do we do to it?
Shut the F*** up Ron.
And you soon become the liability Ron we all know and loathe.
Oh sweet lord!
Incendio! Lucky my teachers taught me everything I needed to beat their stuff.
More flying. Whoop whoop.
Got it!
Flying back down to the ground I unlocked the door, racing to safety before the keys could attack us.
This is why happens when you try and be the hero.
Yeah he looks great.
I’ve got this, despite being terrible at chess.
This looks scary. I’d just run along that straight path.
Slowly I destroyed each chess piece until I got down to just the queen.
I win!
A troll? Not again.
Lets get out of here.
So Wingardium Leviosa?
Can’t we just run to the door?
Denied!
Well done, Hermione. I’m glad you’re here with me or I’d be stuck here.
This can’t be good either. Fighting with all of these suits I eventually got a hold of the potion which would allow me through to the last chamber.
Glug, glug, glug.
Another one bites the dust.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Hooded figure! Our final showdown.
Who says I’ll be killed so easily?
Why not just attack me directly?
After I defeated the large knights I soon learnt the identity of the hooded figure. Professor Quirell.
Walking through to the last chamber I soon found the Mirror of Erised waiting for me.
Within the mirror I saw myself holding the Philosopher’s Stone, something that soon happened for real.
I don’t have it.
Wait who said that?
Voldemort? You’re here in the castle? Maybe you were hiding in the Chamber of Secrets? I mean the two places must be adjacent to each other.
And now I will stop you for insulting my beloved parent.
From within the mirror my parents gave me strength enough to stop Voldemort.
Using my magical touch I was able to repel the dark lord, killing him on the spot, killing Qurriel anyway.
Though now I was unconscious and out of friends to bail me out.
I hope someone remembers I’m down here.
We won the double! Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup without me and we lifted the house cup today. What a great day to be alive.
Slowly I left the hall, looking back at the house points tally with a smile on my face, overjoyed at the pride of winning the house cup. Hopefully next year will be as eventful as this year.
The Spirit Champion 